The term ‘Jet Ski’ is a trademark held by Kawasaki Heavy Industries, but is popularly used to refer to any brand of personal watercraft (the correct generic term) which allows a rider to cruise over the waves on the aquatic version of a really cool sports bike. This type of popularisation, if not checked the the company owning the trademark, can lead to a trademark becoming ‘genericised’, at which point it becomes extremely difficult for that company to defend its trademark from misuse.

That said, having one’s brand name become the metonym for a type of product, as with Jet Ski for personal watercraft or, in the USA, ‘Band Aid’ for plasters, can in itself be somewhat of a lucrative opportunity for a business, with people unconsciously associating their desire for a product with that specific brand. The most famously successful corporation in this world is Coca-Cola, who have enough mind-share that people will unthinkingly ask for ‘a Coke’ rather than ‘a cola’, but have defended their trademark vigorously enough that it is still, in the UK at least, an offence to serve someone a Pepsi if they ask for a Coke, without first correcting their order.

Vaseline, Hoover, Kerosine, Zipper, Asprin and even Heroin (the latter two once owned by Bayer AG) were all once strongly-held trademarks which have since become appellatives for their respective products, and no longer enjoy any legal protection. No court has yet decided on the Jet Ski brand, but a quick trawl of news sites and other literature suggests that Kawasaki would have a hard time defending their trademark should they choose to do so.

None of this, of course, changes the fact that Jet Skis – or personal watercraft – are amazing fun. Thanks to renowned thrill-seeker Isaac Newton’s laws of motion, Jet Skis are able to easily reach 70mph or so by pumping water through their impeller out of back of the vehicle at terrific pressure. In order to achieve this pressure, they need fantastically disproportionate engines, and the Jet Ski’s I saw for rent had an engine nearly as powerful as that in my first car, which was a hell of a lot larger, and came with seatbelts, windows and doors. With all that on offer, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to head on down to Far Rockaway a mere 8 hours after landing back in New York from my vacation in Florida to go and ride around on one.

Sailing is fun, with the wind in your hair and the rocking of a boat. Windsurfing – a favourite activity of mine back when I lived in London – is even more so, with much less protection from the elements and the ability to feel even the smallest wave beneath your feet. Jetskiing takes this raw experience, and adds to it the thrill of being able to speed up to 40mph on a whim, with precious little protection other than a cheap life-jacket and the knowledge that, if one were to fall off, the Jet Ski would be a safe 50 metres away before one even hits the sea.

Being able to accelerate and turn so quickly, Jet Skis are classed as ‘power boats’ in the informally titled Rules Of The Sea, more properly known as the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea and, as such, required to give way to sail boats, windsurfers, kayakers and the like, all of whom would have a harder time making a sudden turn.

I once had to learn the various, slightly complicated rules as to which of a pair of sail boats has right of way – a free-running boat has right over a close-hauled boat, for example, as they are much more manoeuvrable in general – but I had to quickly recap what happens when two power boats meet before I jumped on the Jet Ski. It seems there is no hard-and-fast rule for which boat has a right-of-way when two power boats meet, but on the rare occasion it came up whilst I was out there, I simply decided to turn to Starboard (one must never turn to Port to avoid a collision) and get the hell out of there, so I could resume concentrating on not falling off or flipping the Jet Ski.

The most important rule, whilst not explicitly present in the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea, is one I was taught by a windsurfing instructor, and is one I hope I never forget: if it’s big enough to destroy your vessel without noticing, it has right of way, so move.

Fair advice.

Xx

When people ask me what I do for work, I generally just say ‘research’, ‘math(s)’ or ‘data science’ and hope they stop talking. It’s not that I don’t love my job, it’s just that I get really really bored by small talk, and most people don’t really care in the first place.

In the case that the other person’s interest is actually piqued (or, I suppose, that they really have nothing else to say and no-one else to talk to), I go on to describe how I draw on whiteboards, erase what I’ve drawn on whiteboards, make some graphs on a computer, look at the graphs, delete the graphs, and then go home. This, combined with the fact that my occasional stint of working at home is often indistinguishable from staring blankly into the distance, often leads people to think that I do essentially nothing.

As such, it’s always nice when there’s a tangible output to what I’ve done, and people end up using something I’ve invented in their real lives. Last year I filed a couple of patents and had a research paper published, and this year the algorithms behind those are now starting to help experts in cancer research, lawyers and traders to do the things they do.

Less spiritually fulfilling, but much more instantaneously gratifying, I also won the Thomson Reuters Inventor of the Year award for one of the 2011 patents, which comes with a cash prize and the opportunity to subvert professional norms by offering a photo of me doing Capoeira in Central Park as my caption for the announcement.

Next goal, get an award that’s actually recognised outside of my company. Or, at least, some new whiteboard pens.

Xx

Last time I tried to explain the four basic concepts that make up patent law, below I’ll try and show why these exist in the first place.

The simplest protection, copyright, has long been a means of preserving the arts and ensuring artists receive their proper compensation. Trademarks are a necessity for the protection of the corporations that make up a modern capitalist economy, but patents, however, are a more interesting beast.

You see, corporations and individuals could choose to keep their specialist knowledge hidden away as a trade secret, but if this gets lost, they have very little recourse (if its stolen, they have a little more protection in developed countries.)

If they choose to register it with a patent office, then they receive exclusive rights to the profits from the idea, for a given period (often circa 20 years), after which that idea is available for the benefit of all. A prime example here is in the pharmaceutical world, where 20 years after its creation, a life-saving drug is available for cheap manufacture by anyone with the means and the will.

This is a risky trade-off for a company to make. Coca-Cola’s secret formula is a prime example of a trade secret far outstripping the value a patent would have offered; they’ve been making money from it for 120 years, with a patent, the recipe would have been public knowledge after just 20. The idea that a drug such as Sildenafil (Viagra) wouldn’t have been independently discovered or leaked within 20 years of its inception, however, is a very far-fetched.

I hope you found that as enjoyable to learn as I did. Normal service – pictures of cakes and stories of alcohol – will resume shortly.

Xx

Is everyone else as interested in patents and patent law as I am? Good. Let’s begin.

First things first, we have four central concepts to consider:

1. Copyright
The most basic form of protection, copyright protects a given expression of an idea. The idea itself is still fair game, but the particular expression is owned by a certain person or entity. Anyone and everyone is allowed to fall in love, and there are no laws against teenagers playing guitar (unfortunately), but if you were to write a 3 minute pop-song about your sweetheart, then both the lyrics and the music would undoubtedly be protected by copyright law.

2. Trademarks
Trademarks are a little more formal, and generally have to be registered with an official body before they take effect. A trademark is a distinctive symbol, phrase or other tangible icon which is used to show consumers that the product or service on offer comes from a given, known entity. Think of Intel’s chimes or McDonalds’ Golden Arches. I recall a particularly fun case my father brought home where Yazoo were suing someone for infringement of their distinctive bottle shape; I forget the outcome but I remember the free milkshake at least. Trademarks expire only when companies or brands do.

3. Patents
The big one: completely void unless registered, and must generally be registered within a year or so of their invention (more on the reasons behind that in the next post). Patents protect ideas, and must describe them very accurately. There’s even a principle called best mode which generally applies to patents, and states that the registrar must include the best method they know of executing the patent (building the car, synthesising the drug) that they know of when they register. A patent gives the owner the exclusive right to the idea, even if they choose not to ever make use of it.

4. Trade Secrets
A trade secret is really just that. It’s a method or invention or similar which isn’t generally known, and provides a genuine business advantage. These are protected from theft and corporate espionage in a number of countries, but beyond that, there’s nothing. If you lose your trade secret, or someone else figures it out, you really better hope you have a diversified business because it’s fair game for anyone else in the world to profit from.

Next up, a bit more on the reasons we have patent law at all, and why people would ever opt for trade secrets.

Xx